Being overly polite might seem kind, but it often leads to problems anyway, in relationships, with friends, and at work. 
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Posted March 15, 2025 Reviewed by Kaja Perina
Can old mental health advocates learn new tricks? Yes. Established advocates working with youth advocates can forge powerful alliances to support mental health and wellbeing.
Many lament the world’s ills—and it is fully understandable. What future is there for youth, given the outlooks for the environment, world politics, and violent conflicts? Aside from huge strides in health, equity, inclusiveness, and connecting with people around the world, opportunities expand for youth to contribute more to supporting their own and others’ mental health and wellbeing.
When advocating for positive mental health and wellbeing, we can see how far we have come. Many places no longer view people as “crazy” or “nuts” to be locked up in asylums away from society. Positive change means that many mental health and wellbeing conditions must be addressed, with clinical diagnoses and professional medical attention often available.
But not everywhere. Even in places which have destigmatised talking about mental health and wellbeing, some people remain hesitant to open up about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Youth are a key part of advocating for improvements and in showing new ways forward.
Age-appropriate training in physical and mental health first aid could be made available to most people. This training should cover being aware of your limits and not exceeding those limits, accepting what you would and would not do in any situation. A fundamental rule in first aid is ensuring that the first aider does not need first aid.
Write about your own experiences—not necessarily in a Psychology Today blog or even for public consumption. Just in ways and venues which suit you. Drawings, sculptures, short audio clips, music, and video recordings, distributed privately or more widely, can resonate with those who have gone through similar experiences yet were afraid to acknowledge them.
Youth never knew a world without handheld computers offering instant communication and global audiences. Nor might they fully understand the accompanying risks. Those who have more years of experience, and who are aware of the issues, can indicate safety and security, notably for subject matter which remains sensitive in many ways.
Anything placed online, even if in private venues, never really disappears from cyberspace and could always be accessed, if someone wishes to. Destigmatization does not mean go public with everything.
When privacy is preferred, then care is needed in posting anywhere, including private social media or via password-protected portals or files. This is especially the case in the fast-changing cyberworld with venues and software coming and going. Too often, security risks are taken seriously only after a breach.
Meanwhile, an offline world still exists. Plenty can and should be done there, particularly connecting with people and groups who might not commonly be involved in mental health and wellbeing activities.
Using champions, leaders, and connectors from marginalized communities and specific groups assists in reaching those communities and groups. Youth can learn from youth, exchanging online while wanting to help out in-person. Yet no champion or leader can represent everyone in their group and, at times, will abuse their power to exclude.
Inevitably, it is a balance with no single approach suitable for everyone. Sensitivity and cross-cultural interaction are essential skills for training trainers. Certainly, “youth” is not a monolithic category. Many cultures and groups involve youth seeking out and accepting their elders’ vast knowledge.
It is about learning and doing together, respecting different knowledges, understandings, and interests to build up wisdoms for actions. Reaching everyone, to support mental health and wellbeing for all, is not easy. Youth remain essential advocates for this work—and in doing so will teach new tricks to, while learning old tricks from, established advocates.
References
de Beer, C.R.M., L.A. Nooteboom, L. van Domburgh, M. de Vreugd, J.W. Schoones, and R.R.J.M. Vermeiren. 2024. A systematic review exploring youth peer support for young people with mental health problems. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, vol. 33, pp. 2471-2484.
Smith, K.E., R. Acevedo-Duran, J.L. Lovell, A.V. Castillo, and V. Cardenas Pacheco. 2024. Youth Are the Experts! Youth Participatory Action Research to Address the Adolescent Mental Health Crisis. Healthcare, vol. 12, no. 5, article 592.
Wainwright, C., E. Sofija, T. Riley, L. Tudehope, and N. Harris. 2025. Examining the role of mental health lived experience advocacy in shaping the personal outcomes of youth advocates: A scoping review. Children and Youth Services Review, vol. 171, article 108182.
Ilan Kelman, Ph.D., is Professor of Disasters and Health at University College London, England and a Professor II at the University of Agder, Kristiansand, Norway.
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Being overly polite might seem kind, but it often leads to problems anyway, in relationships, with friends, and at work.
